Have you ever felt a great disconnect from the world; for all it brings, and has to offer. I don’t mean safety, shelter, food, and clothing. But it’s elements of so called entertainment, and various people?

Have you ever grown tired of the world, where you want little to do with it. Where other than to worship Allah ( swt) you see little meaning to anything else?

The things that once you held dear, or enjoyed spending your time with, have become the very thing in which you find boredom and useless in.

I ask myself, am I selfish, and discontent with this world, and never satisfied, because it is never enough?

I am not sure. Its not more that I want. More time, more money, a big house, or car. But something else. Something I can not describe.

Can I find it , hear on this earth? I feel lost, like I am on a journey in which seems to go on forever. A place I want to run from, but unsure of the destiny that lies ahead.

I feel as if I am in a place of where I do not belong, but unsure of where it is that I will fit in. I long for it to all be over, to be with my lord. Ive grown tired of this world, it’s people and what it has to offer.

I do not see myself content with anything other than Allah. There is nothing in comparison to him, and feeling his love.

Is that ungrateful? Am I un-thankful for all the blessings of this world that he has bestowed upon me?

I would give it all to be near to him.
He is like a love that has gone away, never knowing when you will find yourself in the arms of love again.

I desire my beloved, and so I read his words and seek nearness to him in them, but yet it makes me long for him more, and desire where I am less.

I fell lost.
What is the purpose of it all?
What is the meaning?
Have I been left here as a punishment?

Oh, Allah I beg you, not to forget me.
I am all alone.